Mother gives birth to triplets so identical.

After spending six weeks in intensive care, little Roman, Rocco and Rohan look so similar one can not tell them apart.The odds of having identical triplets is an incredible 200 million to one. Fortunately for their 23-year-old mother, tell-tale features plus the ten-month-old triplets’ emerging personalities mean she for one has no trouble telling them apart. ‘When they were newborns it was quite hard to tell which one was which, but I never got them mixed up myself,’‘They’ve all got dark birthmarks between their eyebrows, but Roman’s is slightly darker than the others’, and Rohan has got a birthmark on his leg as well.

According to the Multiple Births Foundation, the only way to establish for certain whether twins or triplets are identical – known as zygosity determination – is usually DNA testing. After consulting them, Miss Allen took cheek swabs from Roman, Rocco and Rohan and sent them off to a laboratory to be analysed – and earlier this month received the news that they are genetically identical.

I was surprised because I expected them to be non-identical,’ she said. ‘But then I’m normally the only one who can tell them apart, so that does explain a lot!’ The triplets get through around 130 nappies a week between them and four packs of baby wipes, while a pack of formula lasts about two days and the washing machine is run around three times a day. As their father, Liam Tierney, 28, does not live with her, much of the day to day help comes from her sister Lauren, 17.

Popular Comedian Ali Baba and Girlfriend have a fight

Ali Baba posted a screenshot of chat messages from a friend who is confused on the next line of action to take with his girlfriend who accused him of impregnating another woman, then later found out that her accusations were false. Ali Baba wrote on his page:

Quote "I don't know how to advise my guy... He says I should help him ask without adding any names. "What if she reads the postings online? I asked him. "Then she will know if I am right or wrong to have packed her out of my flat and ended the relationship". Please note, if you have no advice to give don't comment. Insults will be deleted. Please read the chats before commenting. Don't be asking me what the guy did. She said it all there. To make this clearer, her friends told her that her Bobo was responsible for impregnating a lady. So she went gaga. Then found out it was not her Bobo. At which time, she had been thrown out and she then realized that the girls who claimed to be protecting her from getting hurt (which may be true) did not investigate properly. So things became bad. And got worse when she broke the driver side glass of his Gwagon with a flower pot. Now it had become clear he wasn't the person responsible. Those friends have apologized that they "thought he was the one"... That is the root of all this apology. My Guy's argument is if she had a gun and shot him that night, what will these apologies be for?Huh?"

MAN WHO MARRIED 12 YEAR OLD GIRL IN ENUGU

A 37-year-old man, Michael Ugwu, who claims to work as a police SPY official at a federal ministry in Lagos state, has been arrested by the police in the state for taking a 12-year-old orphan, identified only as Nneka as wife. Nneka’s grand father, Abada, a native doctor in Enugu State, reportedly gave out her out in marriage to Ugwu, an indigene of Aji in Enugu Ezike town, Igbo-Eze North Local Government Area of Enugu State.

The Punch is reporting that Ugwu, had gone to the Ipaja Police Division, Lagos to report that his teenage wife ran away from home and had since been missing. The police, upon finding the said missing wife, subsequently detained Ugwu for marrying a minor. A police source at the Division said, “Ugwu came and reported that his wife absconded and that he even took a loan from a bank to marry her. He even sounded drunk when he came to the station. “When we saw the minor he called wife, we had to detain him to get more information, because a 12-year-old girl is not ripe for marriage, so we had to ask him more questions,” the source added. But Ugwu, on his part, said the girl’s grandfather willingly gave her out to him in marriage at their hometown in Enugu State. He added that there was a traditional marriage to that effect on January 20, 2016 in the village, attended by about 50 persons, including community elders, the girl’s grandfather and other villagers. He noted he never saw anything wrong with taking the girl as a wife because there were elders at the event and they gave their blessings to the union, adding that the girl’s grandfather, who also happened to be his old time friend, had assured him that the girl was not a small girl. Ugwu said, “I have been under pressure from my family members to get married, and when I visited the village earlier in the year, I and Abada, a retired Biafran soldier, went to have a drink. “I paid the bills and told Abada I needed a woman to marry. “Abada was happy I paid for his drinks, and he assured me he would introduce me to a girl. He said I might not be able to take care of a woman he wanted to give me but that he had another one for me. The following morning, I visited him with a friend of mine. “He asked for N500 and I gave him. Around 10pm, he brought a girl to my house. I was about sleeping then. He said the girl he brought for me is his child and that he would want me to marry from their place. “I asked if the girl is up to the right age, he said yes; that she was not a small girl. He said he needed to give the girl out in marriage so that she would not get unwanted pregnancy. I said okay. “He brought the girl again the following morning. He asked that I shook hands with the girl and I did. He said I should not joke with the offer because someone else had even shown interest in the girl but that he wanted me to marry her. He said I should come with one carton each of beer and malt to ‘knock the door’ as the tradition demands. “We call it ‘Omenala’. He gave me the list of items to buy for the introduction,” Ugwu stated. “During my first visit, I went with one carton of beer and malt. During my second visit for the introduction, the items I bought, according to the list I was given, included a jar of palm wine worth N30,000, eight cartons of beer worth N16,000, two cartons of malt worth N3,000, amount spent on cooking to entertain the guests cost N11,000, two laps of pig meat worth N6,000, 30 kolanuts worth N2,800, two packets of cigarette worth N400 and dowry of N33,000. I was there with some of my family members. “At the event, even though she didn’t give me wine as required traditionally and we didn’t put on same attire, Abada gave her to me and told us to kneel down and he prayed for us. He said he expected us to come back with children. “The two times the girl was brought to my house and on the day of the introduction, she wore high heels, which made her look taller and mature. “At that time, I didn’t see her as too young, and as our elders in the village supported it, I thought it was right. I am a heavy drinker, maybe that is why I was confused and the pressure from my people to get married made me to rush into it. Then, the girl’s grandfather is a herbalist, I don’t know whether he covered my eyes because now I regret my actions. “I came back to Lagos with the girl in February. I think I was hypnotised for me to have taken that loan because now, my salary is being deducted monthly to pay back the loan. “I have never slept with her, but I made the attempt twice but it was not successful, as I could not penetrate, so I left her. “I think the man used a charm to hypnotise me, otherwise, how would I have married such a young girl without knowing it and that is part of the reasons why I regret my actions. I love the girl but she didn’t respond when I tried ‘it’ because there was ‘no way’. “How would I have a wife at home and I would still go out to satisfy myself (sexually). A doctor even advised me not to sleep with her because she was too young to be pregnant. I made two attempts to sleep with her but no way. I didn’t force her. In my life, I had never deflowered any woman.” Commenting on the incident, the Director of Children Affairs in the Ministry, Mrs. Alaba Fadairo, said the case was under investigation. The Spokesperson for the Enugu State Police Command, Ebere Amaraizu, said the command would swing into action as soon as it is briefed by the Lagos State Command or a formal report is made to the command on the matter.

COCAINE TRAFFICKER STORY

An Emirates flight EK 262 from Sao Paulo, Brazil to Dubai, United Arab Emirates was Saturday forced to make an emergency landing in Lagos due to the deteriorating health condition of a passengers believed to have ingested cocaine. After screening by anti-narcotic officials four other passengers are currently under interrogation after testing positive to drug ingestion. One of the suspects was immediately hospitalised as doctors battle to save his life.

Chairman/Chief Executive of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA), Col. Muhammad Mustapha Abdallah (retd.) who said that the suspect is responding to treatment called for stiffer penalty against drug trafficking. NDLEA commander at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA) Lagos, Mr. Ahmadu Garba said that the Emirates flight left Sao Paulo, Brazil to Dubai but was forced to come to Lagos due to the health condition of a passenger on board who ingested cocaine. “A passenger complained of severe abdominal pains and later suffered three recurrent seizures thus necessitating an emergency landing in Lagos. “Upon arrival, four other passengers tested positive for narcotic ingestion. They are Okeh Desmond, Ezeanya Nnaemeka, Christopher Nonso and Chibusi Promise. All the suspects are under observation” Garba stated.

Christaino Ronaldo CR7...Still the best..

Real Madrid forward Cristiano Ronaldo has hit out at his critics saying only jealousy could be the reason for hating on his success, after he won the UEFA Champions League title on Saturday, making him the first Portuguese in history to do so, once with Manchester United and then twice with Real Madrid. ’

Real Madrid paraded the trophy in front of 80,000 supporters at the Santiago Bernabeu on Sunday evening but Ronaldo's being criticized in some quarters after he had a largely anonymous 120 minutes during the final against Atletico, but scored the last decisive penalty after Diego Godin missed his. Ronaldo said his home nation, Portugal, would feel proud and happy of his club success as he is ‘the only Portuguese to win the Champions League three times’ but also said only the jealous ones won't be happy over his success. ‘Only the jealous don’t feel that (happiness),’ ‘But I don’t care about that. I always keep the people who love me. So this Champions League is for them, the guys who support me all the time, my fans in Portugal and around the world.’ ‘This season I was the No 1 in the team, again, for most minutes. I have more than 4,000. That means a lot to me. It means I am still good, I still feel good physically, mentally. I was the top scorer in this competition again (with 16 goals).

‘If you ask me if I feel tired now, of course, I have a lot of minutes in the legs. But I am still there, I am always there. I showed the team I am there for the good moments and bad moments. This is what makes me feel proud. ‘My performance (in the final) is maybe not the best one but who played unbelievable? No one. So it’s tough, it’s the end of the season, you don’t have power in the legs that you have in the beginning of the season, but I did my best. I ran and we won. That is the most important. To win my third Champions League is unbelievable.’ Asked if he still has personal goals, he replied: ‘It is what it is, six years when I’m scoring more than 50 goals, but I am asking more. I am always in the top level. I just want to maintain. I still feel fresh and I want to carry on like that. I love to play for Real Madrid. I want to carry on.’ ‘As you see in the pitch everybody was tired and felt cramp in the legs. And it was very hot. ‘The penalties are always a lottery, you never know what is going to happen. But we showed we are the more experienced team.’ Ronaldo missed from the spot when Manchester United beat Chelsea on penalties in 2008 but had no doubts about stepping up again. ‘To be honest I was confident I would score,’ he said. ‘I saw (Zinedine) Zidane before the penalties and told him to put me as the last taker because I feel I am going to score the winning goal. This is what happened.

Wife`s Request

WIFE: Honey, can you do me a favour? HUSBAND: Sure, anything for you love. WIFE: Can you kill a lion for me? HUSBAND: Are you mad? To kill a lion for you? Request something else. WIFE: Ok then, can I go through your Whatsapp? HUSBAND: Where is the lion you want me to kill?

FATHERS ADVICE TO HIS SON concerning Marriage

1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her. 2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go. 3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office. 4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face. 5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in- charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent. 6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman. 7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again. 8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our large farm- lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely. 9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other. 10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along. 11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much. 12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too. 13. My son, your mother rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches. 14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man? 15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part. 16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige. 17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag. 18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother. 19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays. 20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us. 21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours. 22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, so that your children will take care of you too.

Looking For My Wife

Akpos enters a church n finds the priest. Priest: How may I help you son? Akpos: Im looking for my wife, she said she would be here but as I can see she’s not around. Now that am here, I would like to confess. Then go to the confession area Akpos: forgive me father for I have sinned Priest: What are your sins my son? Akpos: The other day, I went looking for my wife at her home but she was not there. I found her sister alone, I slept with the sister. Priest: Oh, that is sin, but at least you came to confess Akpos: Then another day I went looking for her at her aunt’s place but she was not there, I found her cousin alone, I slept with the cousin Priest: You know that is wrong my son Akpos: Then the other day I went looking for her at her working place. She was not there, I found her colleague alone… Priest interrupts: Let me guess, you slept with her colleague Akpos: Yes father Then there was total silence after that. Akpos: Father? Akpos: Fatherrr? Still no reply Akpos: Father are you dia?? Akpos peeps through and finds out that the priest is no longer there . He looks for him and finds him hiding. Akpos: Why are you hiding father? Priest (shaking with fear): I’ve just realised I’m the only one here and you came looking for your wife.

African Proverbs

*Craze no hard to form,na the trekking be wahala. English translation : Easier said than done. *No matter how hot your temper be,e no fit boil beans. English translation: Calm down, your temper won’t solve the problem. *Chicken wey run from Borno go Ibadan go still end up inside pot of soup. English translation: You can’t run away from your destiny *Today’s newspaper na tomorrow Suya wrap. English translation: Keep calm! Nothing lasts forever. *Cow wey dey in a hurry to go America go come back as corn beef. English translation: Just be patient. Let the game come to you. Don’t rush! *Akara and moin moin get the same parent, na wetin dem pass through make dem different. English translation: How you start doesn’t matter, what matters is how you finish. *Leave matter for Mathias and Sabi for Sabinus. English translation: Give everyone what they deserve. *The difference between kpekere and plantain chips na packaging. English translation: Don’t judge based on appearance alone. *Escort me, Escort me, na im slave trade take start. English translation: Serious things sometimes start like a joke. *The water wey dem use take make eba can never be recovered back. English translation: Don’t cry over spilled milk.

WE PASS AMERICA JOOR

Everything they get we get am too; They get Mohammed Alli, we get Bash Alli. They get T. pain, we get T.maya. They get T.I, we get M.I. They get 2-pac, we get 2- face. They get Beyonce, we get Tiwa savage. They get Lil wayne, We get Terry G. They get Timberland, We get DON JAZZY! They get wiz khalifa, we get wiz kid. They get Hollywood,we get nollywood They get Silicon valley, we get Computer village. They get Mac Donnalds, we get Mr. Biggs. They get Las Vegas, we get Lasgidi. They get Miami Beach, we get Lekki Beach. They get Al Paccino, we get Peter Edochie. They get Pirate of d Caribbean, we get Pirate of Aba. They get beauty and the beast we get Bianca and Ojukwu, They get Mr Bean, we get Mr Ibu, They get American Lotto, we get Baba Ijebu. They fear Al Qaeda, we fear Boko Haram abi na lieeeeee?????

click to WATCH BOUNAMOUTH___spell cabin biscuit video

AKPOS AND LANDLORD

This brief conversation ensued between Akpos and his landlord… LANDLORD: (knocks at Akpos door) AKPOS: (Opens the door) LANDLORD: Hey man, I’m looking for my house rent? AKPOS: You can come in let’s look for it together.

FUNNY JOKE...wife versus Husband

Wife: honey can you please help me clean the garden Husband: do i look like a gardener? Wife:ooh am sorry honey, ok then fix bathroom door plz Husband: do i look like a carpenter? 🔸husband walks out, at returning, he finds the garden cleaned and the door fixed. Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself Wife: its not me Husband: who then? Wife: Jonny our neighbor Husband: how much did u pay him? Wife: No, he just gave me 2 options, bread or sex Husband: i hope you gave him bread Wife: Do I look like a baker? - See more at: http://funnyakposjokes.com/funny-joke-wife-versus-husband/#sthash.u9muTD3v.dpuf

LADY BURNT FOR KIDNAPPING SCHOOL KIDS IN LAGOS

The case of kidnapping has greatly increased recently. Does it have anything to do with next year’s elections or what? Anyway, whatever it is – I still frown at jungle justice. What if? And there is no reversal? What do you say? A woman suspected to be in late 30’s or early 40’s met her water-loo on Wednesday at Abule Egba in Lagos suburb. The woman is said to have arrived the vicinity around 7:30-8:00am when kids were going to school driving a Nissan Extera jeep. She was said to have been driving around pipe line area still around Ekoro road, about two bus-stops from where she was eventually lynched. Eye witnesses say she got down from the jeep at one point and tried to trick a little child going to school into accepting money from her.

While doing this, a passerby noticed and challenged her, asking why she wanted to give the child money. Before the passerby could attract attention, she quickly got in her jeep and sped off. But fates were against this woman whose desperation and evil ways caught up with her and led to her death. - Instead of fleeing from the vicinity completely, she drove just two streets from where she made the first kidnap attempt on same Ekoro road to “try her luck” again with another child less than an hour later. Unknown to her however, word of her initial attempt had spread to surrounding streets and residents were at alert. After gallivanting for a while, she parked and tried to lure another child. Some residents noticed her and what she was trying to do and alerted others who went to lay ambush for her in front. She offered the child biscuit, and before anyone could say Jack Robinson, she bundled the little girl into her jeep and started to drive off. She hadn’t driven for long before the residents who had been alert forcefully stopped her car and insisted on a thorough search. Of course, the child she tried to kidnap was found, and thankfully could still talk. The little girl was crying profusely, saying in Yoruba language “ This is not my mummy…this is not my mummy!” The angry mob then dragged the lady out of the car and started to quiz her. The mob was all fired up and ready to lynch as the previous day, a kidnapper was caught trying to steal two kids, and another sad incident was also reported in the same vicinity. The woman at first refused to talk and seemed very hardened. Instead of answering their questions, she tried to make a call. This infuriated the mob and she was stripped and bludgeoned. Her phone was also smashed and destroyed. Yet, eye witnesses say she didn’t budge or answer the questions she was asked. It was at this stage that some persons in the crowd brought a tire and fuel. On seeing this, the woman who had initially refused to answer any questions became paranoid, and started talking. She then started begging that her life be spared saying that she was just a messenger, sent to get little kids for diabolic purposes. She revealed that they were about 40 people like her sent out to kidnap little kids in the Abule Egba area of Lagos and its environs. Before she could even say more, the angry crowd set her ablaze. Some police men said to be about 20 feet away, ignored the situation. Her jeep was later taken by police men to the nearest station. WHAT DO U HAVE TO SAY???

NPF Recruitment 2016: Police Fixes Date For Screening Nationwide - 8 Important Things You Must Know

The screening exercise has been scheduled for June 6th and will hold concurrently throughout the federation to ensure transparency. Only successful candidates will be contacted at the end of the exercise. !

HERE ARE 8 IMPORTANT THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW. 1. Check your Mailbox regularly. Mails will only be sent to prospective candidates from Police Service Commission 2. Check your phone regularly. Text messages will be sent to only successful candidates. 3. A computerized selection is done by the Police Service Commission and and has reportedly disqualified those with suspicious age declarations, incomplete school record that did not tally with original date of birth and incomplete data during registration. 4. Computerized selected and contacted candidates will be notified on a specific date for screening at the state commands level, Only those invited for a day meant for categories will be considered. 5. All contacted candidates should prepare to face a screening panel comprising representatives of Federal Character Commission, Police Service Commission, senior officers from Abuja, the media, police commissioners etc. 6. Candidates should not appear with any luggage as there will be dog sniffers, bomb experts in the venue. 7. Candidates will undergo aptitude tests and physical check ups,eyesight, deformities, protruded bellies, height and chest measurement etc 8. ASP and Inspectorate cadres will undergo their screening at Force Headquarters while the Specialists will be tested based on their skills at the Zonal level. Good luck!!

OKON POLITICALLY APPOINTED

Popular Nollywood actor, Ime Bishop Umoh a.k.a Okon Lagos has joined the league of Nigerians stars with political appointments.

Okon Lagos announced his appointment via Instagram. He wrote, "Yes it's true... been made Special Assistant To The Governor On Ethical and Social Reorientation, Akwa Ibom State. Thank you Gov Udom Emmanuel. Most above all, Thank you Jesus!" are you happy for him?

GHANA PASTOR CAUGHT IN THE ACT

Wonders, they say, will never end indeed, as we have started experiencing diabolic and shameful act we only used to experience and watch in movies right in the church of God in this endtime. How else could someone known as a pastor mock God and humiliate himself than to share a man’s wife with him right on the man’s own matrimonial bed. Each passing day, has its own mysteries and stories to be remembered by. Today, another mystery has unfolded, as Head pastor and founder of the Apostolic Good News Church International-Apostle Doglas Akwesi Amanoris been caught naked and pants down with Mrs. Mina Adjei, a married woman and a member of his church right on her matrimonial bed at her EMEFS Estate residence at Lashiebi in Accra. Mrs. Mina Adjei, is the wedded wife of Mr. Thomas Adjei- a Managing Director of an advertising company in Osu- Accra. The couple are married for nine (9) good years and blessed with two wonderful kids- a boy and a girl. Speaking to the victimized husband upon a tip off by an insider, Mr. Thomas Adjei, totally broken down in spirit and soul narrated his tragic experience to reporters “My wife and I have been having some marital problems for sometime now base on her recent attachments and relationship with other men, and over her constant nagging and reluctant to pick the kids from school and take care of them in her shop- which is even closer to the school. She had never accepted her fault or explained to me peacefully even when caught red handed with men in very uncompromising situations at odd times. Due to this, families and counselors advised that we separated for a while due to her violent attitude whenever there is a little problem while the two families put heads together to resolve the issues. On that fateful morning of Saturday May 7, 2016, at about 6:30am, I had left my hideout to the house to go and pack my belongings from the house, since my wife and I had earlier agreed that our EMEFS Estate rent had expire, and due to some hitches in business for now, we shall rather relocate into a much affordable apartment instead of renewing the rent again”he unearthed.

But he said, the woman said she would not oblige to their earlier agreement, but rather claimed she has an uncle who says he would continue with the rent for her to stay in the EMEFS apartment all by herself. He continued that, he went with a carpenter to help him fix and change some of the locks where necessary before he finally packs out since the woman says she may be staying in the house with her so-called uncle of a benefactor, till the families resolve the issues. He said, upon reaching the house, they started knocking at the main gate for sometime before a sister- in law came out to get the door. “I greeted and entered the house as the man of the house and walked straight to our master-bedroom to knock on our bedroom door. But as I knocked for long minutes without any response at all, I then decided to push the door to see what was wrong with my wife in there, because her sister had already confirmed that she was inside. As soon as I pushed the door opened, my wife rushed out to push it back against me! Wow, what is happening here- I wondered at her attitude? This gave me the idea to suspect that something fishy was definitely going on in the room, because of my past suspicion of her with other men in her car, so I decided to force the door open to enter at all cost. I then forced the door back on her, and lo and behold, here was a thick-tall dark man naked on my own matrimonial bed with my wife in my room! How else could a man be traumatized in his life than this?” he lamented. Describing his woes to the team, Mr. Adjei, underscored that, at the instance, his heart was terrified so much so that he could not move nor scream, so all he found himself doing was to start clapping his hands for them. He said, after some seconds, he gathered some courage and decided to take some pictures for evidence, “but to my amazement, my shameless wife suddenly pounced on me in an attack and tore my clothes to prevent me from taking the pictures, but when she realized she couldn’t stop me, she rather ran to her so-called daddy of a pastor and stared covering his face with the man’s under wears- shouting, ‘Daddy don’t allow him to take ur face!”, he elaborated. Mr. Adjei, who said he gathered all the courage not to be violent in the act continued that he left the scene quietly when he realized the wife was trying to be violent to cover up her shame and went back to his hideout to avoid any false accusations of assault. He said, he managed to go to his own church the next day- Sunday May 8, and then reported the case to the Larshibi Vivian Farm police who later arrested the two who were granted bail the next day. The case has since been with the DOVVSU Department of the station for further resolvation. According to Mr. Adjei however, had been the fact that, the wife is rather shamelessly going round tanishing his image and rather painting him so black to the world without any shame. Meanwhile, the police has given a confirmation of the case been reported to the Vivian Farm station at Larshibi, but says the case is under investigation and so they would want to hold on to their commits and further details for now

ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS

2014 WAEC EXAMINATION Time: 1hr 30 mins SECTION A (Answer all questions. Questions carry equal marks) 1. What are the names of the two people holding hands when you switch on a Nokia phone? 2. If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the past tense of Make? 3. Which university in Nigeria has the highest number of ladies using blackberry phones? 4. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo on Facebook, who sent the friend request and why? 5. If the cost of moi-moi is N10.50, what is the cost of moi? 6. Who ate the missing part of the Apple logo? SECTION B (Answer All Questions. 10 Marks each) 1. Between the Nigerian police and Nigerian girls, who likes money more? 2. Using the almighty formula, calculate the Diameter of Elegushi beach. (Take pi=3.142) 3. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy, who is Adaobi? 4. If your X-boyfriend/girlfriend wins N50,000,000 on who wants to be a millionaire after you broke up, find the value of X? 5. If it takes Goodluck one hour to deliver a typed speech in a national conference, how many days will it take Patience to deliver the same speech on the same occasion? Assuming the polarity of the audience is kept constant? SECTION C (Answer any two questions) 1. Tu-face was given a Prado and Ferarri on his traditional wedding and white wedding respectively. There is every likelihood that D-Banj has gone ahead to print wedding invitation cards without an available bride. Discuss (20 Marks) 2. Write a short essay of not more than 500 words on 'My Oga At The Top'. (20 marks) 3. What's the name of the lady that says "Please enter your secret number" at the ATM machine and explain why she is chosen for the job. (20 marks)

PLASTIC SURGERY

AKPOS: What is the cost of the plastic surgery? DOCTOR: Its about N 900,000. AKPOS: What!? Doctor that's too expensive. Okay...err...what if I bring the plastic

MATHS CLASS

Akpos was in a Mathematics class, a class he never liked. The teacher was teaching Algebra that day and the aspect involved was somewhat easy. The teacher decided to evaluate the students' understanding of the topic... TEACHER: Chibuzor, what is 2 x a? CHIBUZOR: 2a sir. TEACHER: Good! Kansiime, what is 9 x t? KANSIIME: 9t sir. TEACHER: Good! Akpos, what is 4 x q? AKPOS: F**k you sir!

JOKE TODAY...BURIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

I was walking past a grave yard and I was reading some of the writings carved on the grave stone. A Yoruba woman's own read: ''Mrs. Opeyemi died in a terrible car accident. R.I.P'!' An Hausa man's own read, "Alhaji Danguda died while crossing the sahara desert. R.I.P!" I was shocked to read an Igbo man's own which read, "Chief Okoro 1 of Njaba and 2 of Mgbenafo died when a container fell on him while shifting his goods from Apapa Whorf. He is survived by a wife and two children who presently manage his electronic shop where you can buy your TV sets, DVD sets, Fridges and air conditioners at slightly lower prices. For more enquiries call 0802364366 or 0805669453 or visit our website, www.okoroventures.com/cheap"

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